September 2007
1 post
July 2007
2 posts
“So I’m standing behind the counter in work and these two ginger kids come...”
– E. A. McDevitt (it’s in the game) - King of Work Stories
June 2007
9 posts
Bad examples made rock 'n roll great...
Some songs have blatant lies in them. Some have misleading advice. Other tunes have advice that will literally get you killed if you do it. Even more than this, some set amazingly poor examples. For blatant lies how about Cat Stevens - Into White? “I built my house from barley rice Green pepper walls and water ice” I must admit that I’m not actually a structural engineer or...
“This & nbsp; For Rent”
“The Queen must surely be proud of such heroic men as the Police and Irish...”
– the Original Australian Outlaw, Ned Kelly. (from the Jerilderie Letter)
“Nohting comes out rihgt the first tiem. Nothing comes out right the first...”
“Welcome to nowhere and finding out where it is And fixing your problems and...”
– Brent Smith
“History tells us that all empires and occupiers, no matter how mighty,...”
“Just tellin’ the same old story, Singin’ the same old song, And...”
– Pat McManus, Ballyshannon 2/06/2007
May 2007
4 posts
“I am not a cartoon - who I am doesn’t begin and end with a black line.”
“The grand highway is crowded
w/
Lovers
&
Searchers
&
Leavers
so...”
– The late, great Jim Morrison
Anatomy of a cunt's poem
Title of uncertain significance. Bold statement. Statement implying the inverse. Rhetorical question. Explicit statement of the inverse. Dramatic interjection. Questioning of one’s perspective. Reassurance of one’s rightness. Juxtaposition of certainty of rightness, with self-professed nihilism. Expression of futility of life. False finish. Supposition that futility isn’t...
“The male actors moaning. Stuntcocks shouldn’t make any noise. ”
– Things you shouldn’t hear in porno: #1
April 2007
9 posts
“I just can’t get John Kennedy out of my head.”
– Gordon Strachan and John Kennedy 4eVa!
Peepshow ftw
Superhands: Here you go...free munchies
Jez: Did you nick this?
Superhands: Course I did..they should be paying me to eat this shit
Jez: Hmm...free choco...
-
Jez: Mmmmm tasty
Superhands: The secret ingredient is Crime!
1 work week down, infinity to go...
A few things occur to me at this point. * I don’t really mind giving up my free time for reasonable monetary compensation..at least not nearly as much as i had expected I would. * Dilbert is more like a text book than a comic strip, and Weasels are everywhere. * Big companies like Sky and Teletech are determined to indoctrinate you. Being a responsible and conscientious worker is not...
“Our brave young men are dying in the swamps of Southeast Asia. Which of them...”
– RFK. Doesn’t it ring true today?
Dinosaur Frolics VS Pangea and Plate Tectonics...
So today Lauralee was visiting, and as we were watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire, she broached the subject of continental drift (which included no lesser subjects than Water World and Kevin Costner’s subsequent ‘career bomb’ i might add). Now, Lauralee insisted that the continental drift was caused by Dinosaurs (that were much too big, obviously) jumping around having a...
Old convos are teh hilarious
Eman: the meeting went great but now they want me to go to another one on wednesday :(
mcshoe: meeting?
Eman: i had to go to a meeting instead of a hot date yesterday :D
mcshoe: was the date in hell? :)
Eman: i dont remember asking you out :D
I drew a picture of shoe on a camel...
mcshoe: who's waving?
J: Emer
J: your male prostitute is driving
J: and the other person is the guy who owns the camel :|
mcshoe: uh?
mcshoe: why's emer a man? :-/
J: she's under cover
J: tbh your quesiton asking could get her killed :-/
mcshoe: why?
J: COS SHES UNDER COVER
mcshoe: ahaha
mcshoe: why? :|
J: LOOSE TALK COSTS LIVES
J: cos your a big fuckerface
J: alright?
March 2007
8 posts
Ace Ventura: Pet Detective
Ace Ventura: What do you feed your dog?
Melissa: *sigh* Dog food...why?
Ace Ventura: He's miserable..
Melissa: What are you talking about?
Ace Ventura: He's just very unhappy, I feel sorry for him. Bad diet, isolated environment. It's amazing he's still alive.
Melissa: You're just mad because your stupid pebble theory didn't work out and you don't know how to express your anger.
Ace Ventura: Yeah? And you're ugly.
Melissa: You know what? I'm not even going to talk to you. Would you please leave.
Ace Ventura: Why? So you can beat him.....FATTY?
Melissa: You're unbelievable. Hiring you was the biggest mistake I ever made.
Ace Ventura: Well, why don't you cry about it, SADDLEBAGS?
“Tragedy + Time = Comedy.”
– Really though. I don’t know who said this, but I bet they were hella smart. My friends tend to fall out with me when I make fun of things they find sad. ‘Cept Eman.
Update your blog!
Everyone: Hi gone do a blog
Me: Naw
Everyone: gone gone gone it's been ages
Me: Right then!
Everyone: Yes!
Me: /tumblrs np
Everyone: Hurrah!
“And thirdly,” he said, “thirdly a party of Young Conservatives from...”
– Douglas Adams, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe
“We have reviewed hundreds of hours of video, tape captured by the hotel security...”
– Drug overdose killed Anna Nicole In fairness, a police force that uses a large cat to investigate celebrity deaths has no place deciding what is “unusual”.
“Motivation is what gets you started, habit is what keeps you going.”
– Jim Rohn. (Googled ‘beginning quotes’ for something apt…I’m such a phony.)